Tag: relationships

  • This Is Not a Security Problem

    (This Essay was published in the Jewish Exponent on July 27, 2026 and reprinted here)

    Each time I enter the Weitzman National Museum of American Jewish History, I stop at the security checkpoint. The guards may recognize me from previous visits, but I still empty my pockets and remove my belt. Beyond the checkpoint, I put myself back together. Inside this special space, I am safe. Located on Independence Mall, across Market Street from the Liberty Bell, the museum acknowledges the Jewish community’s extraordinary place in the United States. But that specialness also makes it a target. Just two weekends ago, someone defaced the sculpture outside the Weitzman, and someone else violated the sanctity of New York’s Central Synagogue.

    I won’t tell you how to feel about it. Anger, fear and grief are valid responses to these and many other assaults. We are deeply saddened that our country harbors hatred that betrays the great promise we believe in. Yet anger, fear and grief can be paralyzing. Paralysis becomes silence, and silence is the goal of those responsible for these heinous, cowardly acts. I will not give them what they want.

    There is a phrase in the Talmud that I keep returning to, Kol Yisrael arevim zeh bazeh: all of Israel is responsible for one another. Arevim shares its root with eiruv, the boundary that turns separate private courtyards into a shared domain on Shabbat, so that carrying between them becomes simply what neighbors do. Arevim is about creating community. It is about refusing to treat your neighbor’s doorway as the limit of your concern.

    Here is what I think a lot of us get wrong about that phrase. We hear “all of Israel” and assume it’s drawing a line: our people, not others. I don’t think that’s what it’s teaching; instead, it’s teaching that responsibility has to start somewhere concrete before it can go anywhere. For us, it starts here with us. It was never supposed to end there.

    This is not a security problem. It is a relationship problem disguised as a security problem.

    Let me be plain. I am not minimizing guards, locks, magnetometers, or cameras. =The Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia has invested real money through its community security initiative to harden facilities and keep a bad Saturday morning from becoming a funeral. I’ve sat in briefings and learned what a trained guard and a hardened building can prevent. If you give to Federation, some of what you gave helped build that. You should know it, and you should give more this year because the need did not go down this month. It went up.

    But there is more for each of us to do than write a check. It’s an extension of believing we are part of a larger society, invested in each other’s safety, not just our own. We tend to treat interfaith friendship as something for calmer times: a shared meal, a joint text study, or a panel discussion with refreshments afterward. I want to suggest we have that backward. The friendships built during calm times are the real infrastructure that concrete barriers can’t replace. The guard who might recognize me at the Weitzman is not Jewish. Neither is my friend who will stand beside me and publicly declare that we support each other. Those relationships did not happen because of a program. They happened because we showed up enough times to become people to each other, not categories. Some weeks, that feels like a small thing next to everything else rabbis are supposed to do. This week, it doesn’t feel small at all.

    I also want to be honest about something closer to home. The Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia, which I have the honor of leading, brings Orthodox, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal and Conservative rabbis into the same room, even though we disagree about enormous things. Areivut does not ask us to resolve those disagreements before we act together. It asks us to act together anyway, because responsibility supersedes disagreement. If that’s true inside our own house, it has to be true at its borders, too.

    So here is what I am asking of Philadelphia Jewish Exponent readers, who are already inside the tent, already connected enough to a Jewish institution to hold this publication in your hands. Call your legislators. Not an email, but an actual voice on the phone, so a staffer has to hear it and take a name. Ask what they are doing to fund security at houses of worship, ours and our Muslim neighbors’ alike, because we are both targets of the same hatred. Increase what you give to Federation’s security fund and say why.

    Then do the harder thing. Think of one person outside this community, a neighbor, colleague, or parent from your kid’s soccer sideline, and call them. Share what happened at the Weitzman. Tell them what it would mean if they showed up outside your synagogue some Saturday morning, not to do anything, just to be there. They will not know you want this until you ask.

    Finally, show up yourself. This Shabbat, go to shul and be counted. It costs only getting dressed and going, and it matters more than every paragraph I’ve written here. An empty sanctuary tells whoever did this that their plan worked. A full sanctuary, with a few unfamiliar faces near the door because you asked them to come, tells them something else entirely.

    My email tagline says, “God’s miracle is not in the thunder and lightning. It’s in people sheltering each other from the storm.” I believe this more than ever, not because it is easier to believe now, but because I watched what happens when a community decides to test whether it is true. Areivut is not a slogan on a wall. It is your presence. It is a phone call you have not yet made.

    Who is it to?

    Rabbi David Levin is president of the Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia and founder of the Jewish Relationships Initiative.

  • Matot – What holds you to another person once you want something they don’t?

    That question sits beneath Matot, and the text hides it in a structural trick. The parasha opens with the laws of vows: ish ki yidor neder l’Adonai… lo yachel devaro — if a man vows a vow, he shall not profane his word; he must do all that comes from his mouth. Yachel means to profane, to hollow out, to treat as common what should have been set apart. A vow is not a private transaction between a person and God. It’s a wall built around your speech so others can trust it.

    Two chapters later, Reuben and Gad ask to settle outside the land, and Moses doesn’t hear a request — he hears betrayal. “Shall your brothers go to war while you sit here?” he demands, then goes further: you are a brood of sinful men, rising up to add to God’s anger against Israel, like the spies before them. This is not negotiation. It’s a rupture.

    What follows repairs it, and the Torah deliberately writes the repair in vow-language. “We will build sheepfolds for our flocks,” the tribes answer, “but we ourselves will go armed before our brothers until we have brought them to their place.” Break that vow, Moses warns, and you will have sinned against the Lord.  The same charge the parasha opened with for a neder left unkept.

    I don’t think that’s an accident. Wanting something different from your community isn’t, by itself, a betrayal. But the only way to want it and still belong is a vow neither side can walk back from, one earned through confrontation, not by going around it.

    In my pastoral work, I’ve sat in the room right after that rupture — before either person knows whether the relationship survives the difference or ends. What decides it isn’t who apologizes first. It’s whether the vow still holds when neither feels like keeping it. It is the opposite of yachel, a vow kept whole.

    Where in your life is a vow like that being asked to hold right now?

  • What Jealousy Knows That Love Forgets- Parsha Naso

    I have sat with people whose trust has shattered — in marriages, friendships, and communities — and almost always, the breaking came not from a single dramatic act but from a slow accumulation of doubt. A question that shouldn’t have needed asking. A silence that lasted too long.

    Parashat Naso knows this gap intimately. It moves through every layer of broken trust, from the outside in: communal rupture, a marriage poisoned not by confirmed betrayal but by suspicion, and finally the Nazir — the one who has seen enough human brokenness to withdraw from relationships altogether.

    Each rupture runs deeper than the last. Yet the Torah’s response to each one is the same: none of these restorations happen in private. You cannot repair what was broken between two people with only those two. We need a container larger than the injury — something that can hold what we cannot carry alone.

    But the parsha demands something even harder. The Sotah drinks the water without knowing what will happen. That act, entering genuine uncertainty, is itself an act of trust. The Torah teaches something almost paradoxical: you cannot wait until you trust again before taking the risk of trusting.

    And where does that courage come from? The parsha answers with Birkat Kohanim, the Priestly Blessing. The blessing is not something we generate ourselves — it comes from outside us, bestowed by the kohanim and ultimately from God. I am placing my name upon you. I am lifting my face toward you. Shalom is not merely peace, but wholeness, the integrity of parts restored to each other. It is given to us precisely so that what comes next becomes possible.

    Because the parsha keeps going. The heads of the tribes each bring their offerings — twelve princes, twelve consecutive days, the same gift each time, each one named and fully witnessed. No shortcuts. Consistent presence, showing up the same way again and again, until the wholeness you are building becomes real enough to hold.

    The blessing does not replace the work. It makes the work bearable. Work that each of us is called to do.

  • Does the kippah on my head place a target on my back?

    With the increasing violence in public spaces, maybe the answer is yes. What should I do about it? I could cower; many people have said they remove their Jewish symbols, like a Chai or Magen David, because they fear being targeted.

    I have been wearing a kippah for many years, and since the war started, I wear a kippah with the Israeli flag and the words “Am Yisrael Chai” stenciled inside. I am proud to show who I am and what I stand for. But does it come with any risks?

    My kippah has actually been an invitation for people from all walks of life to approach me. At a Costco, on a turnpike rest stop, or while walking on the street, people offer words of encouragement and support. Most people are decent folks. Most are not looking to harm others; they are living their lives and caring for their loved ones, just as I strive to do.

    We must not allow acts of violence from uncontrolled radicals to control us. Those responsible for protecting us face a significant challenge, and a system based on freedom rather than repression often leaves them a step behind in safeguarding our rights and safety. They require additional support to perform this vital work. We can help.

    We need to get out, gather, socialize, and connect with others. We don’t have to agree, but we must show we care. We need each other. The hateful rhetoric shouldn’t be fought with more hate, but by reaching out, creating, and living in the society we believe in.

    My kippah is a symbol and a call to the people I meet that our humanity continues to thrive. That is the kind of target I strive to be.

     

  • A Prayer for Shabbat

    May those in harm’s way be protected from the storms.  Whether it is the fire of nature or war, may you find a haven, and may the horrors afflicting you end quickly and peace come to you. 

    May we have the courage to reach out with love and support to those in need and offer solace to those in despair. May these acts of loving kindness spur us to understand the power of humanity and the need for us to care for each other. 

    ~Amen

  • Shabbat Shalom

    The tensions between generations has existed, likely from the beginning.  Cat Stevens (Yusuf), a favorite troubadour of my youth, captures the issue in his iconic song, Father & Son.  As we struggle our differences, let’s also treasure the things that link us together.

    Shabbat Shalom

  • Shabbat Shalom

    Helping the Ukrainian refugees

    We are compelled to help.

    Kippah

  • Grandpa’s Magic Marshmallows

     

    When we went to grandma and grandpa’s house to visit, some things stood out. Among them was a giant breakfront that contained the unique items they had collected over the years. I remember the porcelain figurines on display, delicate and colorful, gracing the shelves just behind the beautiful curved glass. But there was something even more extraordinary; it was a secret that only my grandpa knew. He would call us over and open the top right drawer and withdraw a box of campfire marshmallows. The box had eight marshmallows, so my brother Jeff and I always enjoyed the special treat and even got seconds.

    As I got older, I got a bit bolder, and the allure of those marshmallows was too great. So, I decided to sneak over to that drawer and get a marshmallow for myself. I waited for the appropriate time and stealthily made my move to the treasure chest. I opened the drawer, but the marshmallows were not there. I was crestfallen. I was sure grandpa put the box back in the drawer. But like magic, they disappeared. What was amazing to me was that the same thing happened the next time.   Grandpa produced the box of marshmallows and put the remaining ones away, but they disappeared when I went back to look. It was truly magic.

    I never did ask my grandfather about the magic disappearing marshmallow trick. But now that I am about as old as he was when he performed that trick, I think I figured out how he did it. I hope that someday I will be given the gift of performing that same magic trick for my grandchild. For, the breakfront now sits in my study. I have replaced the porcelains with special books and mementos, including a picture of my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary. It is magical.

  • The Unfulfilled promise of Juneteenth

    The Unfulfilled promise of Juneteenth

    June 19th is celebrated in American history as the date when the slaves were freed (it actually was the day when Union Troops entered Texas to enforce the final ending of slavery on June 19, 1865, three years after Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation of Sept 22, 1862).  Juneteenth, as it is known, remains an aspiration.  Today, in this special moment in time we find so much of America is still unfulfilled; Ideals yet to be achieved, dreams yet to realized.  America was the Promised Land for so many, but the promise is a work in progress, a distant goal for far too many.

    On this Juneteenth let us affirm our commitment to make this special place one that extends ideals of equal justice, liberty, and equality to everyone.  It is a long road ahead, but it is a journey worth traveling.

    Find a group that promotes our sacred values such as the ADL, the ACLU, the Innocence Project, Repairers of the Breach, and support them.  Learn how to help create the changes to make our society juster and fairer for all.  Celebrate Freedom on Juneteenth and every day thereafter.