Jewish Relationships Initiative

Category: Prayer

  • Parshat Ha’azinu-Just a Thing Before I Go

    Moses knows this is his last day, and he does not ask for one hour alone.

    Ha’azinu opens with him addressing not his family, not his closest disciples, but the heavens and the earth themselves: “Give ear, O heavens, and I will speak; and let the earth hear the words of my mouth” (Deuteronomy 32:1). The parsha takes its name from that first word, ha’azinu, “give ear.” After forty years leading a people out of slavery and through the wilderness, and on the day he will die without ever entering the land he spent his life walking toward, Moses does not turn inward. He turns outward and asks the whole of creation to listen.

    That question continues to dog me.  What is left to do, on your very last day, except finish the work?

    There is no time for anything else. No mountain to climb for a private reckoning, no quiet reflection meant only for himself. Moses uses what remains of his life exactly as he used all of it, in service to the people he is about to leave behind. The tradition knew this. Rabbi Eliezer taught, “Repent one day before your death” (Pirkei Avot 2:15). His students asked the obvious question: who knows the day of their death? He answered that this was exactly the point. Since we don’t know, we should live each day as though it might be that one (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 153a). Moses is living this teaching on the one day he knows for certain is his last.

    Most of us don’t have that certainty. I do not know whether this is merciful or cruel, but it is human life.

    I often use a passage when I officiate a funeral. Death will come, and we cannot enter into judgment with it. Our question, why, will go unanswered. We rob death of its ultimate victory by living our lives so that when death comes, it takes us from a world where one corner is a little better because we were there. These thoughts do not give us an answer, but they refuse to let the unanswered why be the last word. And for the bereaved, they offer comfort for a loved one who is now but a precious memory.

    That, I think, is what Moses is doing on this last day. He has his own unanswered why. After everything, he will not cross into the land, and Ha’azinu does not resolve that grievance for him. He is resigned to his fate and doesn’t spend his final hours arguing the verdict. He spends them making sure the corner of the world he’s standing in, the people in front of him, are a little better for having had him.

    Rosh Hashanah asks us to imagine our names being written, and Yom Kippur asks us to imagine them sealed, v’chotveinu b’sefer hachayim, inscribing us in the book of life. We ask for more time in the very season that reminds us we won’t have unlimited time. We know we’re mortal. We ask anyway. I don’t think that’s a contradiction so much as an act of honesty. Wanting more life and knowing its limits turn out to be the same posture, not two different ones.

    Could I live even one day, let alone a whole year, with Moses’ clarity? Probably not, but I would like to try.

    The hope of these Ten Days isn’t that we become Moses. On his last day, we’re handed a smaller, answerable question in place of the one none of us can answer. Not why. Just this: whose corner of the world got a little better because we were standing in it this year. Who we sheltered. Who we listened for. Who heard us say, this year, give ear.

    G’mar chatima tova. May we be sealed for a good year, and may we spend it the way Moses spent his last one.

     

    I acknowledge AI (Claude, Gemini, and Grammarly), in developing this essay.

  • L’Shana Tova & Shabbat Shalom

    Rosh HaShanah and Shabbat join tonight.  Achot Ketanah, Little Sister, is a piyut that welcomes Rosh HaShanah.

    The piyyut is traditionally sung at Maariv on Erev Rosh Hashanah, and is only heightened when it falls on Friday night, as it does this year. It addresses the people as a sister whose year of suffering is ending, pleading, “may the year and its curses end” — a song poem building toward hope rather than announcing it. It is the theology of both holidays in one text: Shabbat’s rest meeting the New Year’s reckoning.

    Shabbat Shalom L’Shanah Tova uMetukah.

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, v’al kol Yisrael, v’al kol yoshvei tevel v’imru amen.

    May the One who makes peace in the high places, bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen.

  • Shabbat Shalom – Parsha Nitzavim-Vayelech

    As we approach this Shabbat in Elul, we are reminded of everyone’s importance; we all stand in covenant, responsible.  So Choose life. Debbi Friedman’s beautiful music, shared by Cantor Rollin Simmons, brings this core message of our tradition to life.  
    Shabbat Shalom 

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל

     וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    May the One who makes peace in the high places, bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen. 

     

  • Shabbat Shalom

    We are to tell our story as an act of gratitude.  “Ki Tavo commands us to bring our first fruits and tell our story — not as boasting but as gratitude. Andra Day rises because the story she carries demands it.” 

    Shabbat Shalom

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, v’al kol Yisrael, v’al kol yoshvei tevel v’imru amen.

    May the One who makes peace in the high places, bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen.

  • You’ve Made It- a message of Ki Tavo

    You’ve made it.

    I remember standing in a robe I’d never worn before, waiting for my name to be called at ordination and receive my Smichah. Five years of arduous struggle with text and new learning, self-doubt and yearning, brought me to a door with a new life just on the other side of the threshold.

    Ki Tavo opens on the same threshold: the name means “when you come” or “when you enter.” After forty years of a life lived one day’s manna at a time, B’nei Israel is told what happens on the other side of the wandering. Stand half the tribes on Gerizim, half on Ebal, and hear the blessings and curses called out across the valley. Near the parsha’s close, Moses says something startling: “Until this day, the Lord has not given you a heart to know, or eyes to see, or ears to hear.” (Deut. 29:3)

    Rashi, citing the Talmud, calls the sojourn a forty-year apprenticeship: a student doesn’t fully grasp a teacher’s wisdom while still living within it. Freedom and despair held the whole trek, neither ever defeating the other. The same generation that walked out of Egypt upright, unowned for the first time in memory, kept begging to go back, the terror of the open desert outweighing whatever freedom was supposed to feel like. Both built the organs Moses says only now work.

    I am sure you also remember the Wizard of Oz: the Wizard sends Scarecrow off with a diploma and Tin Man off with a heart-shaped watch. I used to read this as a secret they always had. They didn’t. Scarecrow learned to solve real problems along their journey, badly at first, better as the miles went on. Tin Man ached for Dorothy until the ache became, undeniably, a heart. The diploma and the watch mark the end of the apprenticeship. Moses closes one too, forty years later, on the plains of Moab.

    I have a deeper appreciation now of what I didn’t know in that robe. The Smichah didn’t hand me anything. It marked the point where five years of study and work had built enough of a rabbi to be trusted with the door. The building continued, with no ceremony, the following Monday.

    Which may be why Ki Tavo doesn’t let the forging stop at the border. It follows its own graduation line with a list: honest weights, field corners left for the hungry, a tithe handed over before you’ve decided you can afford it. None of it is glamorous. All of it is the forty years continued in miniature: a heart needs exercise to stay strong, and it gets that on ordinary days, not mountaintops.

    Ki Tavo’s list is not merely a set of ledger entries, God tallying rewards for the obedient and punishment for the defiant. I buried that pediatric theology long ago, when a good man’s chart recorded things his heart hadn’t earned. Good people lose everything; careless people prosper for decades, and no verse explains it away. What I trust is quieter: what we do in the small, unwatched hours still matters, and it adds up.

    The freedom didn’t turn into relief once they crossed, and the despair didn’t lift either. That may be why the mountains remain two, standing across from each other, neither ever collapsing into the other, both still true today. I know people who believe in a zero-sum game think a finite pile means grabbing first, before the next person can, treating others as threats rather than neighbors. I know others, driving across town with food for someone they’ve never met, paying a cost that isn’t theirs because someone had to. Gerizim hasn’t canceled Ebal. They’re both still standing, and so are we, somewhere between them.

    I have a heart to know now, more than I did years earlier, that it was built the way B’nei Israel was: not handed over but earned over years, with no one else watching. Ki Tavo isn’t really asking whether we possess it. It’s asking what we do with it on the Tuesdays after the ceremony ends, when no one is watching, and every day thereafter.

    Which mountain are you standing on today?

     

  • Shabbat Shalom

    As we welcome Shabbat and read from Ki Tetzei, the musical connector is Lecha Dodi.  Based on a verse from Isaiah, we are told “Dont be ashamed” despite the trials of the week, welcome the comfort of Shabbat.

    David Sasso brings Lecha Dodi to us with Bluegrass.  Using this genre is a metaphor about reaching out to others and creating relationships wherever they may be.

    Shabbat Shalom

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    May the One who makes peace in the high places, bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen.

  • Shabbat Shalom : Justice – Shoftim,

    “The most urgent imperative in Devarim: justice, justice — pursue it. Dylan has been asking the same question his entire life. So has Torah.

    This Shabbat, both voices together, with the artistry of Peter, Paul and Mary.

    Shabbat Shalom

     

     

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, v’al kol Yisrael, v’al kol yoshvei tevel v’imru amen.

    May the One who makes peace in the high places bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen.

  • One Honest Email

    I was on a gurney, waiting to be wheeled into surgery. My doctors were confident, and the odds were strongly in my favor, but even good odds are not certain, and my mind knew the difference. My wife, Naomi, had just stepped out of the room. Into that ordinary gap came a thought that would not leave my mind: what if that was it? What if “I’ll see you soon” turned out to be the last thing I ever said to her?

    I have spent years teaching people how to write an ethical will, the document that carries not your assets but your values, the things you want your family to know before it is too late to say them. I tell people this work should not be put off. And there I was, realizing I had done exactly what I counsel everyone against. I had a computer full of drafts and reflections, an actual ethical will years in the making. And I realized that Naomi did not even know the password to unlock my laptop.

    It struck me as darkly funny. I had spent years building something meant to carry my meaning forward, and I had built it where she couldn’t reach it.

    There was no time to fix that properly, so I reached for my phone instead. In the minutes before they rolled me in, I typed. I won’t share what the email said, except that it wasn’t “I’ll see you soon.” It was only part of what I intended to say; time and fat fingers limited how much I could fit in. But I know the lessons marriage and life teach you over the years are rarely said out loud because you assume there will be a better moment. And my moment was now. I learned that the iPhone lets you delay delivery. I set it for 9:00 that night, timed for whichever version of that evening was coming: the one where I would explain the email away, or the one where it would have to explain me.

    There is a teaching in Pirkei Avot: repent one day before you die. A student asks the obvious question: How is anyone supposed to know which day that is? The rabbi’s answer: You don’t. So live each day as though it might be that one.

    I know this text. I teach it. I did not expect to feel it from the inside, with only a few minutes left to say what mattered.

    The surgery went well. I am healing, grateful, and mostly back to my routines. Which is its own quiet warning, since routine is exactly what lets the mundane swallow the sacred again. When I woke, Naomi was there. I picked up my phone and deleted the email before she saw it.

    I have thought about that deletion more than almost anything else from that day. I am glad “I’ll see you soon” turned out to be true. But part of me wonders whether I should have sent it anyway. Not because I was dying, but because it was true regardless of whether I lived.

     

  • Shabbat Shalom

    Re’eh-See.  This Shabbat we read the parsha asking us to see what’s going on, to choose the blessing instead of the curse.

    Playing for Change shares this cover of Marvin Gaye’s classic, What’s Going On.

    עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

    Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, v’al kol Yisrael, v’al kol yoshvei tevel v’imru amen.

    May the One who makes peace in the high places, bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel, and all humankind, and let us say: Amen.

    Shabbat Shalom

  • Re’eh  ·  O Say, Can You See?

    My father kept one of those hokey maxims framed on his office wall: “When you are up to your a** in alligators, it’s hard to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” I used to smile at it and move on. Lately, I can’t. This week, Moses stands before the people and does something that should stop us cold. He says, Re’eh, See. And then he sets before them a blessing and a curse.

    See. As if seeing were the easy part.

    The parasha opens with the Hebrew imperative re’eh: look, perceive, take it in with your own eyes. Not sh’ma, hear, the verb that opens the great declaration of faith. Moses is not asking the people to accept a teaching on someone else’s authority. He is asking them to see for themselves, to recognize blessing and curse when the two stand right in front of them. Arguably, that is the hardest thing he asks of us in the whole Torah.

    Because in the moment, we almost never can. Blessing and curse do not come labeled. They arrive tangled together, wearing each other’s faces. The job that looked like a curse turns out to be the doorway. The relationship that felt like blessing slowly hollows us out. We are down in the swamp, swinging at alligators, and the reason we came has vanished from view. Moses says, “See,” and honestly: from here? I can barely make out my own hand.

    I have to be honest about what the text does, because it does not obviously agree with me. Moses plants the blessing and curse on two mountains, blessing upon Gerizim, curse upon Ebal (Deut. 11:29). When the ceremony plays out, the labels are fixed in advance. The Levites call each curse and the people answer amen (Deut. 27). Nobody is squinting across the valley, agonizing over which mountain is which.

    So let me name my own leap rather than smuggle it in. I want to ask what this ceremony means for those of us who never get the labels in advance. Here is what I notice: Moses does not send one lonely seeker up the mountain. He gathers the whole people into the valley and assigns half to each height, and the words travel back and forth across the divide, out loud. The seeing is not solitary. It happens in the space between us.

    Which lands me in a contradiction I would rather hold than hide. The command is re’eh, see for yourself, take no one’s word for it. And the surprise is that I cannot. I am too deep in my own swamp to trust my own eyes about it. The only way I reach the view “from thirty thousand feet” is to turn to you, on the other mountain, and let you tell me what I cannot see: that thing you call a blessing, look again. That thing that feels like a curse, stay with it. The verb is see. The practice turns out to be sh’ma, to heed another voice. I can only see through you.

    Which brings me back to the title. O say, can you see? The anthem asks it at dawn, straining to see whether something precious survived a night of thunder and rockets and glare. That is the honest condition. We are all peering through the smoke of our own night, unsure by ourselves whether what we love is still standing. The miracle was never in the thunder and the lightning. It is in people sheltering one another from the storm, calling across to each other at first light so no one has to read the sky alone.

    I still cannot always tell the blessing from the curse in the moment I am living it. I have stopped expecting to. But I have learned who to ask.

    So, since you can see a valley of mine that I cannot: who is standing on your far mountain, and what have you not yet asked them to help you see?