Tag: relationships

What is prayer? Lessons from Channah

Why do we pray?

The Haftarah portion for today is taken from the Book of Samuel.  This is the story of a barren woman, Channah,  one of two wives of a man named Elkanah.  Elkanah loves Channah and tries to show her affection.  But this is insufficient for Channah and she goes to Shiloh to pray for a son who she would dedicate to God’s service.

What is it to Pray?

Is it asking for something?

God I want a pony.

I have a vision akin to sitting on the lap of a giant Santa Claus asking for stuff-

A new iPhone, maybe a new Audi convertible or

if you like cooking gadgets as I do,

a new Vitamix 7500.

Stuff that makes us feel good on the surface- But this is a rather pediatric view of how God fits into our lives.

 

A more sophisticated version of prayer is to seek connection;

to reach out,  wishing someone you love will be healthy,

that the distance we often feel from another person will be bridged

and we are reconciled.

Prayer is to admit a feeling of emptiness or a void and a yearning for it to be filled.

Channah’s story is fascinating.  She yearns for a child.  The void is in her life is both spiritual and physical.  Her husband, clueless, as many of us are, tries to assuage her with baubles.  He even lavishes attention on her.  But none of this can penetrate beyond the surface and is essentially meaningless to Channah. She turns to prayer.

 

Prayer is actually difficult, it is uncomfortable because it requires of us to be vulnerable.

We must bare our soul- to God and to ourselves.

We must look into the mirror, as it were,

and see that in the cold harsh light of reality,

the reflection we see is not as beautiful or perfect as we pretend.

That new vitamix is a great toy, but if I do not have someone to cook for

it is just another expensive gadget collecting dust on the countertop.

 

So Channah prays a fervent prayer.  And as if to emphasize the point, our great prophet Eli mistakes this woman for a drunkard and harshly rebukes her.

But the prayer Channah prays gives her strength,

she becomes resolute enough, comfortable enough in her own skin, not to accept the scorn of the Prophet and speak in his presence explaining herself.  It turns Eli’s heart.

 

Prayer is powerful it can be awesome and even frightening.

Do we have the courage and inner strength

to look honestly inside ourselves and see truth,

our unvarnished reality with its shortcomings and desires unfulfilled?

It is hard and scary,

but if we are willing to try,

the results can be extraordinary.

And now we read the story of Channah.

 

The Kotel holds a mystical sway over so many

I recall the evening I landed in Jerusalem at the beginning of my year in Israel, the start of my journey to become a rabbi.  I dropped my bags and headed to the Wall.  I was thoroughly exhausted.  It was very late and I had not slept for way too long.  But I needed to go there.  As I stood before her, I was overcome with emotion.  My eyes filled with tears and my heart raced as I slowly and deliberately made my way to touch the massive stones.

As a rational person, I can argue for why the Wall should not be important.  It is perilously close to idolatry, it is only a retaining wall, the religion I embrace has moved beyond this physical space, etc., etc.  And yet I was awed and inspired none-the-less.

Each of us proclaiming our Judaism has a right to be in this place.  We all are entitled to encounter Judaism and therefore this extraordinary manifestation of it in our own way, on our own terms.  To those who claim I am not a good Jew based on their understanding of Judaism, all I can say is, we each have our paths.  I do not ask you to agree with mine, only to respect my path and my sincere efforts to engage Judaism as best I can. Likewise, I shall extend the same courtesy to you.  Although we do not agree, we are both part of Am Yisrael.

The Sharansky plan to bring various streams of Judaism to this special place is what we each should expect and deserve.  Robinson’s Arch is part of the wall, as is the southern wall. But something about the area we all call the Kotel is special.  Thus, the Sharansky plan is the acceptable and appropriate way to move forward.  Providing space elsewhere is just that, providing space elsewhere; and therefore that is unacceptable.  If the actions of the liberal community are offensive to my more traditional brothers and sisters, it would matter little where we might go.  We will not force you to participate and I hope we will not be “in your face” and incite you.  No legitimate authority can take away our precious place away from us as they could not deny it to you.

Trayvon and Judaism

With Trayvon Martin gone, the question is not whether justice has been served or if George Zimmerman was really guilty.  The Jewish question before us is, “How do we prevent another such tragedy from occurring?”

 There is no justice to be served here.  A seventeen year-old boy is dead.  Trayvon Martin’s parents will be forever changed by the death of their son.  George Zimmerman will spend the rest of his life knowing he left his home one evening filled with the self-importance of a neighborhood watchman and returned home later that night a murderer.  Nothing we can do can change what has happened, we can only hope to change what will happen.

 At this time of year, we begin to look toward the High Holidays and we begin the process of preparation.  We engage in introspection and self-reflection as we search our souls thinking of our own shortcomings, asking for forgiveness and planning to make the coming year better if only we are so blessed with the precious gift of life.  Yet there are other questions we are compelled to ask.  We look at the world in which we live and ponder what we can do to make it a better place; to leave a place to our children that is better, safer and more secure than the one we inherited, moved ever slightly closer to repair through our actions.  What is our role to make society more civil and more just for everyone? That is our historic mission, the essence of being chosen to receive the extraordinary gift of Torah at Mount Sinai and the real hope for being written into the book of life.

Trayvon Martin

My prayers go out to the family of Trayvon Martin.  The pain of their loss is only compounded by the verdict in the George Zimmerman case.  The jury has found Zimmerman “Not Guilty.”  Although this is the verdict we are forced to accept, I wonder if the prosecution did the best it could to try the case or did it fail to meet the burden of proof the jury required.  But no matter what the outcome of the trial, the devastating and tragic loss of a young life remains a stark reality.

May Trayvon Martin’s memory be a blessing, may his family find some comfort in their sorrow, and may we act to prevent such senseless tragedies from occurring.

Tisha B’Av prayers

During Tisha B’Av, as we contemplate our losses, let us also remember the hope that comes from our capacity to rebuild after tragedy.  Let us also take time to reject Sni’at Chinam, the baseless hatred that rips the fabric of Am Yisrael from within. Let us work to build our people based on respect for every Jew’s serious engagement with Judaism, even when we do not agree or accept it as our own personal practice.

It’s only business…

The bad-guy in those gangster movies invariably says, “It’s not personal, it’s only business.”  He rationally explains that he is simply doing what he must for his bad-guy business to be successful.  “How would it look if I let this slip?” He expounds that word would get out and then everyone would take advantage.  And then the bad-guy proceeds to do his really bad bad-guy thing.

I share this because as I understand in my practice of Judaism, things are precisely the opposite.  “It’s not business, it’s only personal.”  For me, the creation of relationships and the development of those relationships are paramount. Relationships are at the core of making meaning in my life.  Judaism gives us a way to find that space to become connected to another and a greater community that shares traditions and values.  It is not about the business of getting it right. I am not counting how many mitzvot you do, nor how well you may do them or how well you do in the business world.   It is not about me judging you, punishing you or even rewarding you for how well you performed.  It is acknowledging that we are all created in the divine image, although each of us is flawed and completely human.  It is about learning to respect those who are different from us as they learn to respect us.  It is about creating relationships that can bridge those differences.  It is all deeply personal, and great business!

Disband Israel’s Chief Rabbinate, save Judaism’s good name – Opinion – Israel News | Haaretz Daily Newspaper

Rabbi Eric Yoffie offered a profound and profoundly sad conclusion to the situation with the Chief Rabbinate in Israel.  I share his words with you.

 

Disband Israel’s Chief Rabbinate, save Judaism’s good name – Opinion – Israel News | Haaretz Daily Newspaper.