What is prayer? Lessons from Channah

Why do we pray?

The Haftarah portion for today is taken from the Book of Samuel.  This is the story of a barren woman, Channah,  one of two wives of a man named Elkanah.  Elkanah loves Channah and tries to show her affection.  But this is insufficient for Channah and she goes to Shiloh to pray for a son who she would dedicate to God’s service.

What is it to Pray?

Is it asking for something?

God I want a pony.

I have a vision akin to sitting on the lap of a giant Santa Claus asking for stuff-

A new iPhone, maybe a new Audi convertible or

if you like cooking gadgets as I do,

a new Vitamix 7500.

Stuff that makes us feel good on the surface- But this is a rather pediatric view of how God fits into our lives.

 

A more sophisticated version of prayer is to seek connection;

to reach out,  wishing someone you love will be healthy,

that the distance we often feel from another person will be bridged

and we are reconciled.

Prayer is to admit a feeling of emptiness or a void and a yearning for it to be filled.

Channah’s story is fascinating.  She yearns for a child.  The void is in her life is both spiritual and physical.  Her husband, clueless, as many of us are, tries to assuage her with baubles.  He even lavishes attention on her.  But none of this can penetrate beyond the surface and is essentially meaningless to Channah. She turns to prayer.

 

Prayer is actually difficult, it is uncomfortable because it requires of us to be vulnerable.

We must bare our soul- to God and to ourselves.

We must look into the mirror, as it were,

and see that in the cold harsh light of reality,

the reflection we see is not as beautiful or perfect as we pretend.

That new vitamix is a great toy, but if I do not have someone to cook for

it is just another expensive gadget collecting dust on the countertop.

 

So Channah prays a fervent prayer.  And as if to emphasize the point, our great prophet Eli mistakes this woman for a drunkard and harshly rebukes her.

But the prayer Channah prays gives her strength,

she becomes resolute enough, comfortable enough in her own skin, not to accept the scorn of the Prophet and speak in his presence explaining herself.  It turns Eli’s heart.

 

Prayer is powerful it can be awesome and even frightening.

Do we have the courage and inner strength

to look honestly inside ourselves and see truth,

our unvarnished reality with its shortcomings and desires unfulfilled?

It is hard and scary,

but if we are willing to try,

the results can be extraordinary.

And now we read the story of Channah.

 

The Kotel holds a mystical sway over so many

I recall the evening I landed in Jerusalem at the beginning of my year in Israel, the start of my journey to become a rabbi.  I dropped my bags and headed to the Wall.  I was thoroughly exhausted.  It was very late and I had not slept for way too long.  But I needed to go there.  As I stood before her, I was overcome with emotion.  My eyes filled with tears and my heart raced as I slowly and deliberately made my way to touch the massive stones.

As a rational person, I can argue for why the Wall should not be important.  It is perilously close to idolatry, it is only a retaining wall, the religion I embrace has moved beyond this physical space, etc., etc.  And yet I was awed and inspired none-the-less.

Each of us proclaiming our Judaism has a right to be in this place.  We all are entitled to encounter Judaism and therefore this extraordinary manifestation of it in our own way, on our own terms.  To those who claim I am not a good Jew based on their understanding of Judaism, all I can say is, we each have our paths.  I do not ask you to agree with mine, only to respect my path and my sincere efforts to engage Judaism as best I can. Likewise, I shall extend the same courtesy to you.  Although we do not agree, we are both part of Am Yisrael.

The Sharansky plan to bring various streams of Judaism to this special place is what we each should expect and deserve.  Robinson’s Arch is part of the wall, as is the southern wall. But something about the area we all call the Kotel is special.  Thus, the Sharansky plan is the acceptable and appropriate way to move forward.  Providing space elsewhere is just that, providing space elsewhere; and therefore that is unacceptable.  If the actions of the liberal community are offensive to my more traditional brothers and sisters, it would matter little where we might go.  We will not force you to participate and I hope we will not be “in your face” and incite you.  No legitimate authority can take away our precious place away from us as they could not deny it to you.

An important message regarding the Controversy at the Kotel (Western Wall)

I share the following statement released by the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR) in support of the “Sharansky Proposal” to mediate a solution to the controversy surrounding non-orthodox prayer at the Kotel-

The Sharansky proposal, developed in partnership with denominational leaders of American Jewry, envisions “one Western Wall for one Jewish People,” symbolizing that all Jews have a valued and recognized place at the Kotel, in Israel, and in Jewish life.

The fundamental principles of the Sharansky plan are clearly defined and critically important: creating an area for egalitarian/pluralistic prayer to the right of the ramp to the Temple Mount, an area equal in size and elevation to the existing prayer zone; secure, common, and equal physical access to both the gender-segregated and the egalitarian/pluralistic areas on a 24/7/365 basis; common entries to the public plaza leading to all sections; governance of the egalitarian/pluralistic prayer area and the public plaza outside the present prayer areas by a pluralistic body under the aegis of the Jewish Agency, including leaders of liberal Jewish Movements, rather than the present, Orthodox-dominated Western Wall Heritage Foundation; and transforming the WWHF to reflect the diversity of Jewish belief and practice in Israel and among the Jewish People. While this plan fell considerably short of what the Reform Movement sought, we have expressed willingness to accept its compromises in the interest of shalom bayit.

Solving the issues presented by the Kotel situation is essential to  Jewish Unity and Israel’s strategic interests. We urge the Prime Minister’s office, in the strongest possible terms, to commit itself to the Sharansky proposal in its entirety, promptly, publicly, and unequivocally, to formulate both interim and permanent plans consistent with that proposal in partnership with all key stakeholders and to refrain from presenting a proposal until those vital tasks are accomplished.

The steps announced by Interior Minister Naftali Bennett concerning Robinson’s Arch, whatever their potential merits, fall far short of the Sharansky proposal in both substance and process. Fortunately, it appears that press reports that Cabinet Secretary Avichai Mendelblit was about to release a unilateral plan inconsistent with the Sharansky proposal were erroneous.

If the opportunity for a collaborative process and solution is missed and a plan is put forward that diverges in material respects from the Sharansky proposal, it will exacerbate the tensions so many have worked hard to defuse and set back a process in which so much productive effort has been invested.

Rabbi Richard A. Block, CCAR President
Rabbi Steven Fox, CCAR Chief Executive
For the CCAR Board of Trustees

It is time to put our money (and action) where our mouth is- No to the Russian Olympics

Discrimination is not acceptable behavior.  Institutionalized state sponsored discrimination is not acceptable behavior -unless of course declaring our opposition gets in the way of our being entertained, making money or exploiting it for whatever personal gain we might accrue, like competing and getting medals.

So the Russian winter games are almost upon us.  But what do we do about the anti-gay laws that Russia intends to enforce? As best as I can tell, for right now, if you are a sponsor, you do nothing.  If you are the IOC you do nothing.  If you are an athlete, you do nothing- except for one guy who has vowed to wear a rainbow pin.  If you are a consumer, you do nothing.  This is the kind of unacceptable behavior that permits (turning the blind eye) the discrimination to continue unabated.   Everyone is compelled to stand against the injustice that is the Russian approach to sexuality and civil rights.

I won’t watch the Olympic games.  Sorry NBC, no advertising dollars will flow from me.  I won’t drink Coke- sorry Atlanta- no revenue from me. And I will not consume any McDonald’s products (arguably one healthy thing to come out of this). Sorry Ronald.  I will write to the IOC and USOC to express my outrage that they find the Russian stand acceptable.  And what about you?  Athletes should boycott and we all should demand that the laws are repealed.  Gays are victims of the law and also of vigilantes in Russia. Is this really acceptable?  How can we say we are against such maltreatment of others, except when it infringes on our ability to ski or skate or make money?  We may not be able to change Russia directly, but we certainly do not have to support and give glory to the place and people that find such behavior acceptable.

Reaching out to others is a profound gift

I vividly remember that September night in 1987. We had left the hospital earlier that evening knowing that the end was near.  The hospital called a few hours later to let us know it had arrived.  We stood at mom’s bedside holding vigil.  Each of us tried to say goodbye in our own way, a stroke of her hair, a whisper into her ear, holding her hand, a prayer in our hearts.  The truth is we were only trying to say goodbye; none of us could bear the thought of being without her. And then it was over.  Once the monitor was turned off, the silence was intense.  And although I was standing before my mom with my father, brother and sister, I felt profoundly alone.

 But there was another presence in the room.  We had called our close family friend and Rabbi earlier that day, and he came to us in the middle of the night.  I honestly cannot remember what he said. But I do remember feeling as though I was standing at the edge of the abyss, staring into blackness.  His gentle touch somehow made me feel like I was not completely alone.  He could not take away the pain, no one could. But the echoes of the psalm reverberated in my mind; someone was beside me as I began to walk in that very dark valley. Rabbi’s presence helped me to begin the process of grieving her loss, then picking up the pieces and beginning to move forward.

 My work as a hospital chaplain and as a rabbi has given me many opportunities to be with people in their time special time of grief, vulnerability or need.  I am privileged to offer this wonderful gift to others.  But it is not a gift limited only to rabbis.  We all have the potential to reach out to others in profound and meaningful ways. We offer ourselves to be present, to listen, to make a meal, to call a couple of weeks later just to check in, these are extraordinary ways that each of us can make an important impact on another’s life.  At the time when a person feels most isolated, we can reassure them that they are not alone.