Category: Relationships

Welcome to the Third Act

Welcome to the Third Act

Turning 64, I embraced the idea that I have begun the third act of the play that is my life.  At 32 years per act, that gets me to 96 years old before the final curtain.   Allowing for an epilogue and perhaps an encore, I get a bit more, but likely I will take my final bow sometime before that mystical 120 years that we wish for one another.

So, Rosh Hashanah is an even more “ crucial new beginning”, as I ponder the question, “If granted the gift of life, what will I do with it to make it count?” For third acts are about resolution and bringing things together.

The High Holidays are a time for reflection. In my work, a reimagination of the Ethical Will, I share that reflection is an important tool.  Reflection is about checking in to see if we are on the right path, and making the necessary adjustments.

These adjustments can be one of two types:  Adjustments can be made to get back on the path from which we have strayed, or adjustments can be more radical, a realization that we need to walk a new path on the way to something different than we originally intended.

This introspection is a core message of the High Holidays.

When I look back in about 32 years from now, I hope to see a life well lived- not in its glory or material accomplishments, but in its meaning and human connection.  It is in the choices I make today and the things I do now, that will determine whether I reach the goal of a life well-lived.

I hope that each of us uses this time of the High Holidays to find our path for the coming year, and then walking it.  Wishing everyone G’mar Chatima Tova, to be sealed in the Book of Life for a happy healthy New Year.

 

To Mom, Zichronah Livracha- a toast with Chocolate Milk

A small gathering of family said goodbye to the matriarch this past Sunday.  Adult children and wives, adult grandchildren, and a “bun in the oven.”  I was asked to officiate because that is what the family believed mom would have wanted.  They and their mother understood themselves in a humanist way, but they believed it was the appropriate honor for mom- to bury her Jewishly.  The boys never had a chance to have this conversation with her as she had dementia that ravaged her by the end.

I did my best to honor her and those who were trying to honor their mother by weaving rituals with stories that each family member was eager to share and reluctant to stop.  This beautiful family time ended by raising a glass of chocolate milk, mom’s favorite drink, toasting her life and the family that is her legacy.

As I was preparing to leave, the sons presented me with the replica Torah Scrolls given to each of them by the rabbi from their Bar Mitzvah.  They found them among the few possessions mom brought with her to the care facility.

May her life be for a blessing.