Category: Relationships

Light One Candle

Peter Yarrow’s death has us saying goodbye, but his legacy is complicated. We’ve been engaged in the conversation regarding him and his song, Light One Candle, which is the Hanukkah song embraced by many Jews as a profoundly emotional iconic expression of our tradition. At about the same time that Yarrow entered hospice, many learned that he was accused of sexual misconduct. This reignited a debate about how we might separate the artist from his creation. Can his extraordinary music and activism be decoupled from his egregious behavior, or must we sacrifice his beautiful music because of his actions?

We’ve had this difficult conversation before, and many people have weighed the pros and cons of Yarrow, Carlebach, and others who have disappointed us as human beings yet created extraordinary artistic works.

I do not have an answer to the question. Do we stop singing Yarrow’s music? It’s more than just the songs he’s written, but also the songs he’s performed, most notably as part of the famous trio Peter, Paul, and Mary. It’s a thorny question that must be addressed, but I don’t think a blanket statement suffices; that is the easy way out. Instead, each of us needs to take responsibility for considering whether or not we are comfortable and where we may draw lines that we are unwilling to cross. Perhaps it’s with some footnote when we sing a song, or maybe it’s part of a community decision about whether the music is acceptable. But the conversation needs to occur. We must confront the ugliness and beauty and figure out how to weave them in a way that might work for us and the people we serve.

So, I’m not prepared to cancel him, but I must talk about him entirely. I am unwilling to discard all of the music he brought into our lives, yet that music cannot be heard without the more discomforting voice of his actions and the ethical dilemmas they present.

It’s messy and complicated, but we must consider, deliberate, and decide for ourselves and our respective communities how best to proceed.

Don’t Squander the Gifts

The New Year is upon us.  I pause and look back to look ahead.

I’ve realized that sometimes I squander my gifts. I am blessed with a lot for which I should be, and I am thankful. I live a blessed life with a loving partner, family, friends, inspiring and rewarding work, and Rashi, the Portuguese Wonder (water) Dog.

But when things are good, we tend to take them for granted. When we don’t appreciate them thoroughly, we risk losing them. We all must continue nurturing them so they do not slip away from neglect.

It is too easy to forget that. We can all be neglectful, expecting the good things always to be there.

So, let’s not squander our gifts. Take a moment to reflect on what is truly meaningful in your life. Commit to celebrating and nurturing our core values and relationships. And make sure to let those special people in your lives know it.  Please do not take any of it for granted.

I enter the year hoping to focus on the truly important things, the people, and the values I hold dear.  I hope you do that, too, as we enter 2025.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy New Year!

 

 

 

 

Chag Urim Sameach! Happy Chanukah

How do you light the Chanukah Menorah?

As you can imagine, this was a discussion among the Rabbis.  The Talmud famously pits the House of Shammai against the House of Hillel, our preeminent first pair of rabbis.

Do you light one candle the first night and increase another candle every night until all are lit on the eighth day?

Or do you light all the candles on the First day and decrease the number until you reach one candle?

Most of us know Hillel won that argument, so we increase the light with every passing day.

Do you use Applesauce or Sour Cream when you eat latkes?  They never decided on this argument, so we do both! (actually, I am pretty sure they never engaged in this discussion- I am making it up)

Do you light one Menorah for the family, or does everyone get to light their own?

 

Did you know the Menorah we use for Chanukah is called a Chanukiah?  (it is an eight-light, plus Shamash, candelabra as distinguished from the seven-armed menorah used in the Temple).

Do you put the menorah in your front window for the community to view?

Why do I always seem to lack the right number of candles?

And when I buy candles on sale after Chanukah, I can’t remember where I put them for the next year.

Last but not least, is it Chanukah, Hannukah, or Channukah, Hanukah, Hanukkah, etc.?

We can get all caught up in both the fun and serious questions as we determine how we want to celebrate our holiday.  But remember it is about celebrating the holiday.

It is a time of celebration and rededication. We remember the story of Jewish victory, which instilled pride in our heritage and gave us strength and confidence as we face seemingly enormous challenges today. We spend time with our family, sharing the light’s glow, the pleasure of the food, and the fun of the games. May your Chanukah be wonderous!

Chag Urim Sameach, Happy Hanukah!

What Does God Look Like?

The manger scene of the Baby Jesus swaddled in a Keffiyeh has created much commotion and attention.  Even though the Vatican has removed the display, the consciousness-raising alone means that the image has had the intended effect.

We are talking front and center through religion about the plight of the Palestinian people.

This is not the first time someone has reinterpreted something for their own purpose.  I have seen many iterations of Jesus: white, very white, swarthy, black.  Many religions that have Jesus at the center of their theology have him displayed realistically on the cross, his body cradled in his mother’s arms, lovingly gazing down upon us in a portrait or looking upwards in an icon. As a babe in mother’s arms, as a man spreading the Word, at a bountiful supper, and as a martyr.  And now swaddled in a keffiyeh.  We use religious symbols to motivate the audience toward a vision or narrative.  This is frequently for good and exemplary purposes and too often for malicious purposes.

The charge that this current manger display is Antisemitic is a particular, not universally shared Jewish perspective.  Some deliberately embrace that evil message.   I am sure that was not the intent of the Pope or the Church.  And if the manger is allowed to be a message of hatred, it will have failed miserably in its mission.

Raising awareness of the plight of the Palestinians is important.  Christmas is an essential Christian symbol of God’s love and our hope.  Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards men is the universal message of the extraordinary celebration.

Can this awareness-raising symbol be channeled into constructive forces to promote the welfare of the Palestinian people, who have been victimized for too long? It is time for the people of goodwill to lay down their arms and reach out across the divide to each other.  May love supplant the hatred that has kept both sides at war for too long.  May the promise of Christmas resound in that troubled place of Jesus’ birth so that two people learn to live together in peace and security.

Merry Christmas!

The Core Idea of Thanksgiving- Be Thankful and Do Thankful

The wedding ritual of breaking the glass is central to the Jewish marriage ceremony. One meaning is to recall the destruction of Jerusalem.  It reminds us that even in times of joy, we are reminded of sadness and brokenness.

I am ambivalent about this. Is it appropriate to remember sadness all the time? The answer is probably no. There is enough sadness in our world without being reminded of its presence; time enough to cry and too little time to celebrate. We should lean into the joy without any equivocation or hesitation.

Many people felt compelled during Thanksgiving to remind us of the less fortunate. While this is important as a thought, it is more important to translate it into positive action.

We should find joy in our moment, celebrating its beauty.  And instead of lamenting another’s plight, we can do something positive. Even on the days after Thanksgiving, we can provide food for the hungry, bring clothing for the naked, and support shelters for the homeless. These are the positive experiences that will reinforce the true meaning of being thankful by sharing the blessings that we have with those who are less fortunate. So, this Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season, embrace the joy. Wishing everyone a happy holiday.

Starting All Over Again -Bereishit

There is an old joke that goes something like this:

The rabbi sees Mrs. Schwartz in the grocery store just before the High Holidays. He greets her as most rabbis would, “Mrs. Schwartz, it’s so good to see you. I look forward to seeing you in the synagogue for the High Holidays.”

She replies, “It’s good to see you, too, rabbi. But I don’t think I’ll be coming.”

“Oh,” said the rabbi, “I hope everything is alright. Why won’t you be there?”

“Well, rabbi,” she responds, “Every year, it’s the same old thing. We even read the same Torah portion.”

Although the joke isn’t particularly funny, it notes an essential part of our wisdom tradition; every time we read “Bereishit Bara Elohim” or any part of the Torah, it is different because we are different. Every time we engage in a text, our understanding differs from the last time. Our experiences shape and influence us and, therefore, also affect how we grasp the text. Our lives have evolved, and likely, the questions on our minds do, too. All of us have experienced the same thing differently. Let me explain.

Think about returning to a place you’d been before. Despite our expectations, we experience it differently this time around. The river is not the same water; our favorite book or movie reveals different secrets. Even my beloved childhood Twinkies do not taste the same.

A teacher of mine shared that the answers you get depend on the questions you ask. Our texts are treasure troves, just waiting for us to uncover the precious jewels they contain. The questions I ask in middle age are very different from the ones I asked as a young person. The issues I confront today in our current climate have me seeking answers to deeply troubling questions about meaning, seeking wisdom from this insightful tradition.
We begin again with the first words of the Torah. But what does it mean? How does the message resonate with you now?

This has been a challenging year for Jews. The Oct. 7 invasion of Israel, the war starting in Gaza and expanding into Lebanon, threats from Iran, deep political unrest, antisemitism cloaked as anti-Zionism/anti-Israel and unvarnished Jew-hatred appearing across this country and the world have most of us reeling. We are shaken to our core and struggling to figure out how we move forward. Our texts are compelling and filled with timeless wisdom, and we grapple with them this year in ways that we didn’t expect.

During the High Holidays, we are reminded that God understood the need to create a world that balanced Din and Rachamim, law and compassion. Midrashim share stories that this world was not God’s first attempt. Previous creations failed due to the heavy reliance on one or the other trait. Our stories also tell us that the Torah existed even before creation.

This leads me to an interesting thought. Perhaps even the divine approaches the Torah differently, learning from each encounter. Even the almighty learns from the Torah.

Moses once asked the eternal one what would happen to the wisdom once Moses was gone. God sweeps him into a class taught by the sage Rabbi Akiva. Moses is perplexed as nothing Akiva says seems familiar to him as he listens. And then, as if on cue, Akiva closes with, “And all of this comes from the Torah of Moses, our teacher. One of the fantastic parts of our tradition is the messages of core values that remain timeless even if the way they are practiced or understood evolves with the generations.

Our mystical stories talk of black fire and white fire, describing our sacred scrolls.
The words, the letters of the words and even the white spaces on the sacred text are opportunities for us to learn, using the holy text as a timeless source of knowledge, bounded only by our ability to comprehend it.

So, Mrs. Schwartz didn’t get it quite right. As we read the story of God’s creating, let us use this as a chance to see not an old story but as one of a new beginning, reading with fresh eyes, engaging it and asking the essential personal questions as the story of the world and the Jewish people continues to unfold.

Rabbi David Levin is the founder of the Jewish Relationships Initiative, which aims to help seekers of meaning through Jewish Wisdom in human relationships and end-of-life challenges. He is also vice president of the Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia. The Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia is proud to provide diverse perspectives on Torah commentary for the Jewish Exponent. The opinions expressed in this column are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Board of Rabbis.