A small gathering of family said goodbye to the matriarch this past Sunday. Adult children and wives, adult grandchildren, and a “bun in the oven.” I was asked to officiate because that is what the family believed mom would have wanted. They and their mother understood themselves in a humanist way, but they believed it was the appropriate honor for mom- to bury her Jewishly. The boys never had a chance to have this conversation with her as she had dementia that ravaged her by the end.
I did my best to honor her and those who were trying to honor their mother by weaving rituals with stories that each family member was eager to share and reluctant to stop. This beautiful family time ended by raising a glass of chocolate milk, mom’s favorite drink, toasting her life and the family that is her legacy.
As I was preparing to leave, the sons presented me with the replica Torah Scrolls given to each of them by the rabbi from their Bar Mitzvah. They found them among the few possessions mom brought with her to the care facility.
May her life be for a blessing.
